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Title: And Thus, Kyouya Hates Her
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Characters/Pairing: Kyouya/Haruhi
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 500

Kyouya decided very quickly that unrequited [love, lust, curiosity, distraction] did not suit him at all.

Its worst sin was the utter destruction of his concentration. He catches her in the corner of his vision, and his eyes pull away from his lists and ledgers to follow her until he can no longer do so without turning his head. His ears have become tuned to her sounds, and he can pick her out merely by her footfalls and is painfully aware of her presence in a crowd. He touches her as often as Tamaki or the twins these days, though he is far more discreet about it. Quite simply, he is damnably and ineluctably drawn to her.

Kyouya knows he has far more important work to take care of. Instead he finds himself measuring the steps it takes Haruhi to cross from the door to his chair, analyzing the curve of her frown as he adds to her debt, calculating, with a certain calm panic, the exact date she will pay it off and how best to push that day further and further away.

It is an obsession, and he hates it.

He chooses to hate her by extension. Hate the brush of her hand on his arm, the jut of her hip leaning on his desk, and the wide, brown eyes that stare, not at him or through him, but directly into him.

A childish reaction, but it serves its purpose. Hate is a manageable emotion. This [love, lust, curiosity, distraction] is not.

And so, he pulls out her chair for her just to graze his knuckles against the nape of her neck and hates her more. He hates the small of her back where his hand rests to push her forward. He hates her knee and elbow where they touch his as they sit side by side. He hates her hair tickling his throat as he leans over her to point out every single mistake in her writing. He hates her jaw line, and the bridge of her nose, and the slope of her forehead, and the shape of her ears.

Most fervently, he hates her in his dreams. He hates his hand on her stomach, his fingers in her waistband, his mouth on her neck. He hates her sharp breath, her swallowed moan, her body arching against his. He hates the sweat and bunched sheets and frustrations and long, cold showers in the morning.

He hates facing her as impassively as ever the next day, because it makes him hate footfalls and frowns and wide, brown eyes seeing into him all over again. It makes him hate perceptiveness, questions, and genuine concern. It makes him hate his own lies. (No, I’m not fine at all. Yes, there is something wrong, horribly wrong.) Makes him hate disbelieving looks, dubious assent, generous smiles. Footfalls, once more, and erratic heartbeats.

More than anything, he hates his own hatred, and how dangerously close it has become to [love, lust, curiosity, distraction].
I've said this before and I'll say it again: wow.

I really, really enjoyed reading this fanfic. I feel like I just stepped into Kyouya's head. For example:

"Instead he finds himself measuring the steps it takes Haruhi to cross from the door to his chair, analyzing the curve of her frown as he adds to her debt, calculating, with a certain calm panic, the exact date she will pay it off and how best to push that day further and further away."

I love that part because I can TOTALLY see him doing that (I also think it's my favorite part of this fic). And I like the repetition of "[love, lust, curiosity, distraction]" because I can hear him thinking that train of thought. XD

I think that overall, this is VERY well-written, and I really like the physical tone of this (I guess that's how to describe it). I notice that most, if not all, of the descriptions are physical rather than emotional. I really think that that fits Kyouya's personality, as he's not necessarily emotional, but shows people that he cares about them by doing things for them.

Very nice fic (short, but sweet?). As always, it was a pleasure to read your work. <3
And as always, it's a pleasure to hear your response!

Thank you for always wading through my work and giving me feedback.

-hearts go here-
Fantastic story, you really caught Kyouya well. I can definitely see him following this train of thought and wanting to derail it quickly.

Please keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more!
I'll join the majority of people who read nonOTP fic and say Kyoya/Haruhi is definitely not one of my pairings, but this...

This has the potential to convert me. What I say doesn't sound like much but I mean every word of it. It's fantastically written, at the level that I wish to achieve one day, and kept so in-character that I could make a new OTP: IC!Kyoya/Haruhi.

It's just...so...well, to quote a reviewer of mine (from what I remember): My heart is a balloon drifting into the sky! I thank you!

*incoherent rambling for a NOTP.*
That's a really huge compliment; thank you so much!

Keeping people in character is my greatest paranoia, so I'm very happy I seem to have achieved that.
Wow, nice one... It really seems to fit with Kyouya... *goes off for a very long think*
I love this! It's so Kyouya!
I love your writing style and you seem to understand Kyouya very well ^^ Personally, I think it shows another side of Kyouya we don't get to see very often in the manga. Overall great job~<3

*Bookmarks page*
i love the fic please do other of the pairing is so Kyoya and i know one of this days he will not controll himself and i wanna see it when it happens!!!
*whoo* This is impressive. It's subtle enough that you could throw it in between, oh, say, the third and fourth episodes of the anime and it would change nothing except that now I know it's there and that changes everything. Do you see what I mean? (I'm not particularly articulate today... I'm not sure I'm making sense, so I'm going to ramble to ensure optimum misunderstanding.) It is my opinion that the most poignant scenes in any sort of media are those which don't do a damn thing for the plot line but which mean everything to the story. This little piece of yours is one such scene. (Also, I agree with you - he wants her and doesn't like it and therefore refuses to want her anymore. Which, of course, doesn't work at all. Delicious.) In fine: I humbly offer you props.
After I'm done having a little squee over your icon, I'll tell you that I do understand and am intensely flattered. I appreciate your ramble and humbly accept your props.
This is gorgeous. I'm willing to 'ship Haruhi with anyone, but I have a special fondness for Kyoya/Haruhi. It's rare to find an author who handles Kyoya's feelings for Haruhi with as much grace and subtlety as you do here.
Oh, I completely agree. I think the only Host Club member I have yet to write her with now is Mori. Well, and Renge.

I've grown increasingly fond of Kyouya and Kyouya/Haruhi lately, so that's really incredible to hear. Thank you.
Hey, I read this over at ff.net and it was instant love. Just thought that I could drop by to let you know also in your LJ.

I noticed minor changes, however, which one is the original version? Both of them are fantastic, but I had the impression that the ff.net Kyouya was a little bit more in denial than this one.

I don't know what I like more... the desk scene or the bed scene.

Ah, this makes me hunger for unrequited romances. Wonderful.
I'm glad you liked it enough to review it over here. Thanks.

This one is the original. The only change I can think of is that I switched my brackets to parentheses to comply with ff.net's symbol limits.